Happy Halloween — The Apollyon Particle

The Apollyon Particle — A Halloween Tale of Terror

Time for this year’s Halloween Story. If you enjoy it, please “Like” it below and spread the word. If you don’t, keep your mouth shut or suffer the wrath of Apollyon:

Friday, February 13, 2015

For immediate dissemination from Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire (CERN):

My name is Dr. Vlad Draken, and I led the team that brought us to this catastrophe. The following is a brief synopsis of how we arrived here, what Apollyon has brought forth, and why there is no way out for Mankind.

We should have known better after we found the Higgs Boson — the “God Particle” — but we let our hubris convince us that an opposing particle does not exist even though history told us otherwise. We naively believed that a particle with zero spin wouldn’t have a correlating antiparticle with negative zero spin.

But most of all we should have clued in on the mass of the Higgs — 126 gigaelectronvolts. If the Higgs weighed in at 126 GeV, so too would the corresponding antiparticle. And our ancestors warned us of the significance of 126, or any other number in the sequence: 1, 5, 35, 70, 126, 210, 330, 495 and so forth. Pentatope numbers. It is no coincidence that two out of every three pentatope numbers is a pentagonal number, even though 126 is not. Perhaps that is what led us to believe our search would end well — that while 126 is pentatope, it is not pentagonal. Alas, Satan does disguise himself, and we should have known because we were warned by that most ancient of symbols, La Clef de la Magie Noire — The Key to Black Magic, Satan’s Pentagram.

Past interactions between Mankind and naturally occurring Apollyon Bosons were fortunately transitory, for the Apollyon Boson was until last week a rapidly decaying particle with a duration measured in days to weeks, although the resulting contamination may run for years beyond the initial dimensional breach. This new CERN-created Apollyon Boson exhibits no such decay, even though the effects are the same as with previous historically documented encounters:

• Lycanthropy encounters of 14^th and 16^th Centuries.
• 12^th Century accounts of Walther Map and William of Newburgh of vampirism in England.
• The vampire encounters: Istria, 1672; East Prussia, 1792; the Habsburg Monarchy outbreak from 1725 to 1734 (and which nearly spread out of control to other areas); the early 18^th Century Habsburg-related pandemic that engulfed Eastern Europe; the sporadic incidents of vampirism in late 18^th Century-early 19^th Century Rhode Island and Connecticut.
• The Satanic possessions of Salem, Massachusetts, in 1692-1693.
• The 1611 Aix-en-Provence demonic possessions of Ursuline nuns.
• The 1634 Loudun demonic possession of Ursuline nuns.
• The 1647 Louviers Convent demonic possessions.

It was only following the Apollyon Particle dimensional rift near Geneva that we realized what we had unleashed — Hell on Earth. And this release of Satanic force is not confined to the CERN Euro-Asiatic breach. In keeping with the pentagonal aspect of the particle, other rifts developed simultaneously in four other global locations — on the North American Continent along the U.S.-Canadian border that has already engulfed both Detroit and Windsor; Paraguay, with demonic creatures already reported in neighboring Bolivia, Argentina, Uruguay, and Brazil (Rio de Janeiro is being evacuated to the north); in Africa all contact has been lost from Uganda, Kenya, and Tanzania, and flesh-eating zombie-like manifestations are reported in the streets of Mutumba in Burundi; and a final rift reportedly developed between Adelaide and Melbourne. The last reports from these Australian cities before communication abruptly ceased indicated a joint infestation of both vampires and werewolves with cannibalistic attacks continuing unabated even after sunrise and in the absence of a full moon.

CERN concludes these rifts are irreversible and spreading exponentially. It is estimated that Mankind has less than seventeen hours remaining before being completely overtaken by forces of evil heretofore considered mythical in nature.

History will forever tie my name to this catastrophe, but according to our calculations history ends at 06:06:06 tomorrow.

Copyright © 2014 R. Doug Wicker
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